Found these on the internet so wanted to share em
Q: What's the difference between a flea and a coyote?
A: One howls on the prairie and one prowls on the hairy.
Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?
A: Let's meet up in the corner.
Q: How come seagulls live by the sea?
A: Because if they live by the bay, they'd be bagels!
Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: 'Cause their horns don't work.
Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?
A: Jalapeno business! (Sounds like "All up in your business.")
Q: Why did the man driving the train get struck by lightning?
A: He was a good conductor.
Q: What do vegetarian zombies say?
A: GRAINS!
Q: How do you fit 5 bulbasaurs and 2 charizards onto a bus?
A: You Pokemon! (Poke 'em on)
Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A: One goes, WHACK! "Darn!" And the other goes "Darn," WHACK!
Q: What did the dog say when he sat on some sandpaper?
A: Ruff! (Rough)
Q: What is black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white?
A: A penguin rolling down a hill.
Q2: What's black and white and laughing?
A2: The penguin that pushed him.
Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing.
Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? All the sailors were marooned.
Q: What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
A: Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson moonwalked!
Q: What do Christmas and a cat in the desert have in common?
A: Sandy Claus!
Q: When does Snoop Dog need an umbrella?
A: Fo' Drizzle!
Q: Why was the pirate wearing a paper towel on his head?
A: He had a Bounty on his head.
Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
A: Because they can spend years at C! (Years at sea.)
Q: How do you make a handkerchief dance?
A: You put a little boogie in it!
I wish to die peacefully in my sleep, not panicking, like his passengers.
Q: Did you hear about the person who got the whole left half of his body cut off?
A: Yeah, but he's all right now.
Q: Where does the king keep his armies?
A: Up his sleevies!
Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.
Q: What kind of cheese just isn't your's?
A: Nacho Cheese! (Not your cheese!)
Q: What's the difference between a flea and a coyote?
A: One howls on the prairie and one prowls on the hairy.
Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?
A: Let's meet up in the corner.
Q: How come seagulls live by the sea?
A: Because if they live by the bay, they'd be bagels!
Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: 'Cause their horns don't work.
Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?
A: Jalapeno business! (Sounds like "All up in your business.")
Q: Why did the man driving the train get struck by lightning?
A: He was a good conductor.
Q: What do vegetarian zombies say?
A: GRAINS!
Q: How do you fit 5 bulbasaurs and 2 charizards onto a bus?
A: You Pokemon! (Poke 'em on)
Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A: One goes, WHACK! "Darn!" And the other goes "Darn," WHACK!
Q: What did the dog say when he sat on some sandpaper?
A: Ruff! (Rough)
Q: What is black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white?
A: A penguin rolling down a hill.
Q2: What's black and white and laughing?
A2: The penguin that pushed him.
Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing.
Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? All the sailors were marooned.
Q: What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
A: Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson moonwalked!
Q: What do Christmas and a cat in the desert have in common?
A: Sandy Claus!
Q: When does Snoop Dog need an umbrella?
A: Fo' Drizzle!
Q: Why was the pirate wearing a paper towel on his head?
A: He had a Bounty on his head.
Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
A: Because they can spend years at C! (Years at sea.)
Q: How do you make a handkerchief dance?
A: You put a little boogie in it!
I wish to die peacefully in my sleep, not panicking, like his passengers.
Q: Did you hear about the person who got the whole left half of his body cut off?
A: Yeah, but he's all right now.
Q: Where does the king keep his armies?
A: Up his sleevies!
Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.
Q: What kind of cheese just isn't your's?
A: Nacho Cheese! (Not your cheese!)
