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Cs go

Discussion in 'Reviews' started by LateKO, Feb 6, 2016.

Cs go
Rating:
0.00/5,
0 votes
Counter-Strike: Global Offensive (CS:GO) is an online first-person shooter developed by Hidden Path Entertainment and Valve Corporation. It is the fourth game in the main Counter-Strike franchise. Counter-Strike: Global Offensive was released on August 21, 2012, and made available for Microsoft Windows and OS X on Steam, Xbox 360, and a United States-only version on PlayStation 3.[1] The Linux version was released in September 2014.[2] It features classic content, such as revamped versions of classic maps, as well as brand new maps, characters and game modes. Cross-platform multiplayer was planned between Windows, OS X, Linux, and PlayStation 3 players,[3] but was ultimately limited to Windows, OS X, and Linux because of the differences in update-frequency between systems.[4] The PlayStation 3 version offers three input control methods, which include using either the DualShock 3 controller, PlayStation Move or USB keyboard/mouse.
Players: N/A
Co-op: No
Genre: N/A
Release Date:

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  1. LateKO

    LateKO Member

    2
    0.10
    28
    Hello and welcome, new player.
    Allow me to reveal some of the likely outcomes of you purchasing this game:

    The 'Cannon Fodder' (40% of all players) - Never really good enough to make it past Nova 3, constantly flaming, talking sh it, changing their names and pictures to things increasingly racist, blaming hackers, smurfs, lag and weapon choice of oponents for just what is a mixture of adderall exhausted reflexes and having a shitty gaming rig from 2002, frame dropping on source games.
    Can be easily identified by it's trademark defence mechanism, when being called out for being bad the Cannon Fodder will attempt to convince it's team it has been 'Trolling' all along.

    Habitat: Dust2

    The 'Enthusiasts' (30% of all players) - A wide range of Skillsets from Nova Master to around Legendary Eagle, these players can perform consistantly and at least show a basic level of human decency, most of them will give an unenthusastic hand job for $2.49USD because they feel they are 'due for a knife' or because 'my friend told me he had a feeling' Will one day be doing unspreakable things for a japenese businessman on a glass coffee table to pay off gambling debts that can be traced directly back to a greedy c*nt and his case racket.

    Habitat: Dust2, Nuke, Mirage, Cache

    The 'C unts' (15% of all players) - A curious breed, come in two distinct flavours 'Hacker' and i mean legit hacker, not hacker because he saw your shadow in bedroom on dust2 and prefired you, you fuc king mook, These are players who either used to or almost fit into the 'Enthusiast Category' and were turned into soulless, spineless dic kbags who cannot win on skill or merit. The other flavour, less cancerous but just as annoying 'Smurfs' people who play at levels far beneath there skill to boost their friends, ruin other peoples day for the joy of being a cu nt or to boost their dwindling ego that is one Sylvia Plath poem away from a stomach full of painkillers in the bathtub.

    Habitat: Dust2, Nuke, Mirage, Cache, Train, Overpass, Inferno, Cobblestone, Office, Assault, Any Operation Maps

    The 'Pros' (15% of all players) - Professional Esports player OR someone who has played enough CS (usually in excess of 1500 hours - 9 weeks to us humans) to get to a level where they know every smoke, every flash, every angle, every strat on every map and to you i say kudos, kudos on mastering a video game to the point you know it as well as your mothers disappointed face when she looks at you knowing that while normal people are studying, working or contributing to society in someway, you were hunched over your keyboard for the 7th straight hour of the day, mouth breathing in pleasure as that voice says 'Counter Terrorists Win'

    Habitat: Mothers basement

    Pros and Cons (You decide which)

    You can set the water on fire.
    You can survive gunshots to the head.
    You can tank a grenade from point-blank and still survive.
    You can chase chickens.
    You can only kill a fish if you throw a nade in the water. Shooting them with guns of any caliber will not harm them at all.
    You can fall from 20 meters and still run perfectly fine after that.
    You can get shot in your arm and still be 100% accurate.
    You can lose all of your money(real money,for skins) and not get anything good.
    Digital knives actually cost more than real knives.
    You can lose your mind.
    You can't swim.
    Chickens.
    Fastest way to learn fluent Russian.
    Never see the sunlight once you buy it.
    Lose all of your friends.

    Things I gave to Counter-Strike:
    1. Money
    2. Time
    3. Love

    Things Counter-Strike gave me:
    1. Arthritis
    2. Rage
    3, Hatred of Russians,Spanish, and Russians
    4. Broken keyboard
    5. Broken mouse
    6. 9/10 ready
    7. Server crashes
    8. Shit teammates
    9. Hatred of Autos & P90s
    10. Competitive matches
    11. "Ez Pz" spam
    12. Multilingual cursing - I guess this is a good thing?
    13. Lag
    14. Cheaters
    15- 64 tick servers

    Essentially - CS is a greedy woman, but I love her all the time.

    11/10 will play again
     
  2. Voi

    Voi Active Member

    2,822
    0.91
    145
    Accurate.
     
  3. thart

    thart New Member

    341
    91.58
    20
    We all love that greedy woman lol
     
  4. Scholarkin

    Scholarkin Member

    131
    30.19
    25
    Greedy woman? Haha.
    What makes everyone loves her, Thart?
    This is my first time hearing about this game. I am not a fan of adventure games though so it's not surprising.
     
  5. thart

    thart New Member

    341
    91.58
    20
    Hahaha, i think you should try that by yourself.
    Just give some of your time and I'm sure that you like.
    Then you will understand what greedy woman mean lol, Because even i tell you you will not know what i'm talking about.
    Just try it okay Haha.
     
  6. Scholarkin

    Scholarkin Member

    131
    30.19
    25
    Okay dear, I will try as much as possible.
    I'm already in love with the greedy woman although I know her not. Haha
    I will give you a feedback soon.
     
  7. thart

    thart New Member

    341
    91.58
    20
    That's good to hear that, and I'm waiting your feedback bro. Have a good time there and tell the greedy woman about my greeting if you meet her okay.
     
  8. binaryteck

    binaryteck New Member

    21
    3.44
    3
    My favorite...i'd watch it again and again
     
  9. thart

    thart New Member

    341
    91.58
    20
    What is your favorite by the way? You didn't tell us about it.
     
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